Not all straights. No really. Some of those closest to me are heterosexual. I know lots of straight people. But the world doesn’t revolve around you. No it doesn’t. You may have made a significant contribution to breeding -according to ancient stats there’s nine times more of you than us queer people.
But what’s with taking out your insecurities on us queerfolk? For centuries we’ve been looking after your women, historically our bodies being mutilated to guard them. We’ve kept our frankly more fabulous partying scene away from your sensitive selves, while you enjoy the odd pub fight, but we still accommodate your screaming hen parties where you invade our social spaces like glamorous zoos. We’ve even kept schtum about being proud parents while you harp away about us not being able to procreate while a lot of you struggle to put food on the table for your kids and start whinging about how tired you are and how unhelpful your Straight other halves are. All that is ‘normal’ to you.
I don’t like your scene and traditions. End of. I’ve ‘given it a go’. Dressed ‘normal’, wearing clothes that show off my womanly form. Looked ‘normal’ with long hair and a slim figure. Acted ‘normal’ by sitting around waiting for a bloke to chat me up because ‘men love the chase’. I gave that shit fifteen adult years to improve my life, reading tips from woman’s magazines that preach positivity yet tell me I should take a step back because there was always room to improve the way I looked, the way I spoke, ate, walked, thought and even shaped my fanny. The straight world was just endless opportunities for me on how to scramble for perfection. And you know what? Temporarily it worked. The heteronormative airs and graces of what was considered acceptable for a woman got me through a string of job interviews and boyfriends. It even gave me membership to the Straight girly gang but it is a Mindfuck. Why are women’s shoes so impractical? Even our sport shoes have platform heels, and our boots meant to keep our feet warm, have holes in them for ‘fashionable reasons.’ We’re supposed to consider the alpha male ‘sexy’ in all his brawn and well…Brawn, yet complain about a lack of conversation because he finds video games more interesting. Similarly free spirited feelings make women ‘Beautiful’ but apparently we talk too much and should be more ‘Mysterious’ and less ‘Shrill’.
And you call us queer people ‘abnormal.’
But here’s the thing. I feel sorry for you Straight people. Sure you don’t need my pity. Why would you? In my sensible shoes and short hair that doesn’t require three bottles of shampoo per month why should my feelings matter to you? Because I can’t live in your damn world that I need to pay my taxes with. Because you think so low of yourselves despite your culture’s expectations which set the bar so high it’s unreachable. Then you take it out on those who are not Straight like you. As a woman who takes pride in her appearance I can’t even look after it in front of you. If I’m putting on my lip balm I get a bunch of blokes nearby thinking that it’s for them. If I’m wearing something that I like, and look great, I have to cross the street when a group of straight women are in front of me because I know they’ll have something to sneer about my outfit or appearance. If I’m doing my grocery shopping or meeting my mates at the pub, I need to dress to the nines or I’ll get mistaken for a shoplifter or drug dealer. I have to watch my words on when I give compliments because people think it’s a chat up line. Meanwhile I get judged constantly on my weight, my hair and have my tits jiggled and poked by Straight women (and no, it’s not a turn on) and the male gaze that thinks I could ‘make an effort’. Queer men who look after their sexual health by habit are seen as health hazards while Straight men are trained to drill penile holes without a condom in everything that moves and it’s considered a faux pas for them to visit a family planning clinic. When we maintain eye contact with Straight people, they take it as a come on yet it’s clear they’re the ones doing all the looking when they check out our appearance to judge more than a miss World compitition. We can’t do ANYTHING without you Straight people thinking that it’s all about you. And our culture is centred around self belief and acceptance so if anything Queer standards are higher but actually achievable because we allow ourselves to be. Yet when it comes to yourselves even possessing a shred of self confidence, there’s this sense of self deprecating false modesty that you impose on you. You’re not allowed to feel good about yourselves, not when you look in the mirror, not when you’re finding your own mate, not EVER. So you take it out on us people of a culture where we haven’t got that problem. And that creates a cycle of hate created by your own insecurities. Just because a Queer man is allowed to be more honest about his feelings and looking after his appearance he’s more at risk of being beaten up and murdered because of this. Just because a Queer woman does not have the same hang ups as her straight peers, she’s shunned and ignored and her identity hypersexualised for the camera. Just because a non binary person does not limit themselves to societal expectations of gender they end up being treated like they don’t exist.
Just because Straight culture and its people can’t get over themselves.